JOE MANTHEY AND MICHAEL GURIAN
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Helping boys in a culture of violence

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Petaluma
IN THE past 18 months, our nation has experienced seven suburban school massacres. All of the perpetrators have been boys.

    Only 40 percent of public school students questioned in the most recent annual "State of Our Nation's Youth" survey said they always feel safe at school. And about 60 percent said they don't believe all available steps have been taken to assure their safety and security.

    It is critical to rethink our approach to stopping the violence in our schools, homes and culture. Most school violence-prevention programs have aimed at stopping the sexual violence many girls experience -- from sexual harassment to rape.

    To take the discussion about violence and conflict resolution to the next level, as much attention must be focused on male-on-male violence.

    While a male-on-female focus is essential, most violence in our culture, including in our schools, is directed at males, not females.

    Between 1992 and 1998, of the 226 deaths -- including suicides -- on school campuses, 174 of the victims were boys.

    The Kentucky boy who went on a killing spree in West Paducah knew well the pain of violence. Time magazine reported that other boys often flicked water on him in the school lavatory and stole his lunch.

    The week before his rampage, he told an evaluator a couple of boys threatened to beat him up in the band room. When he pulled a handgun in response, they taunted him: "You couldn't hurt anyone with that."

    Time also reported that all the boys responsible for school carnage were teased because they were either underweight or overweight, yet virtually all school programs about body image focus on girls.

    While research shows that 40 percent of girls and 15 percent of boys report having a negative body image, the key word here is "report." Boys are much less likely to admit having such a concern; to do so would not be "manly."

    One member of the "Trenchcoat Mafia" in Littleton, Colo., told the Denver Post that life was "hell ...pure hell." He said athletes called him a homosexual, bashed him into lockers and threw rocks at him.

    "I can't describe how hard it was to get up in the morning and face that," the 18-year-old told the newspaper. "I'm not saying what they (Eric Harris and Dylan Klebold) did was OK," he said. "But I know what it's like to be cornered, pushed day after day."

    Whether in war, in street brawls or on athletic fields, violence is a tool by which men subjugate men and boys subjugate boys. And let us remember, aggression is biologically "wired" into humans. We learn violence from our culture.

    After his murderous rampage in Pearl, Miss., the young shooter said his brother, eight years his senior, "used to pick on me -- beat me -- when I was little."

    He also told authorities that in his whole life he had been "ridiculed, beaten and hated."

    We must focus on the hundreds of ways males are humiliated and harassed in the culture of cruelty in which they live. We can then address male-on-male violence with as many resources as we have toward male-on-female. Such an approach will truly reduce violence in our schools.



Examiner contributors: Joe Manthey is a public school teacher in Petaluma, Calif. Michael Gurian is a family therapist in Spokane, Wash., and author of "The Wonder of Boys" and "A Fine Young Man."